


Who Are You?

by nicole14111



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe, Louis essentially wakes up in a world where he's not in 1D, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:13:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29073873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicole14111/pseuds/nicole14111
Summary: Louis Tomlinson. Member of the world-famous boyband One Direction. Madly in love with Harry Styles.Sometimes Louis wonders what One Direction would be without him, if the band would be better that way. He never thought he would see that reality firsthand.orAU where Louis wakes up one day to find he was never in One Direction
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 73
Kudos: 121





	1. prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi! welcome to my first official fanfic on ao3! i hope you enjoy it, i think it's going to be pretty interesting :)
> 
> you can find this book on wattpad as well, under the same name (nicole14111) if you prefer to read it there!

_"Best song ever... it was the best song ever..."_

_"Goodnight London!"_

The boys of One Direction had finished yet another successful night of performing, and Louis Tomlinson could say with full honesty that while he enjoyed himself, he was tired. As hard as it was performing, it was also hard to see everyone have more solos, more fans cheering for them, etc. 

"Hey babe, good job tonight," Harry Styles said to Louis, wrapping an arm around his back as they kept walking. Harry was Louis' boyfriend of nearly three years, and Louis loved Harry more than anything. Harry was a romantic sap, he loved the little things Louis would do, and his sense of humor was adorable. 

"You too Haz. Everyone loved ya," Louis said with a smile. Harry chuckled and gave him a quick peck on the lips before running up to meet with Zayn and Niall. 

Louis sighed. He didn't know how his boyfriend had so much energy after dancing around all night. He didn't know how _any_ of them had that much energy after dancing around all night. He was jealous, honestly. They all seemed to have much more fun together, to a point where Louis sometimes wondered if he was needed. 

Niall, while he didn't get as many solos, made up for it by his charming personality. Everyone loved Niall, it didn't matter who they are. Niall was just _that_ lovable. Liam was the most dedicated to the group. He was the one to keep everyone in check, keep them all alive. Zayn carried all the powerful notes that nobody else can hit, and he also looked like a greek god. Literally. Then there was Harry, which, in Louis' totally unbiased opinion, had the voice of an angel. He genuinely believed Harry's voice could cure cancer, it was just that amazing. He had an amazing stage presence, and made sure the fans were always comfortable around him. 

Louis was just... Louis. He had a high pitched voice, his body wasn't all that, and he wasn't usually the first choice for the fans. 

"Hey mate, you alright?" A voice cut through his train of thought. Louis looked to see Liam walking with him. 

"Yeah, just exhausted after tonight," Louis said, putting on a smile. Despite all his negative thoughts, he still had fun whenever he was performing. It was just a lot, and after three years of being put under everyone else, it was hard for him to stay positive.

"I feel ya mate," Liam said as they approached their dressing room. "These shows, they take a alot out of you. Especially after sleeping on a bus most nights."

"Very true, Payno," Louis said, as he walked over to his changing area. Liam seemed to get the memo that Louis wanted to change and leave, so he went over to his own area. 

Once the curtains were shut, Louis pulled off his shirt and suddenly felt a pair of arms around him. 

"I didn't hear you come in Haz," Louis said with a smile, leaning into the taller man's chest. 

"You seemed to be in your own world, you didn't even notice me waiting for you," Harry said softly, a hint of amusement in his voice. "You doing alright?"

Louis closed his eyes and nodded his head. "Yeah, just a little exhausted after tonight," he said, and Harry hummed, an indication that he knew Louis wasn't being entirely honest. 

"There's more," he said softly, running his hands up and down Louis' chest. Louis sighed. 

"Harry, I need you to be honest with me," Louis said quietly, and he could hear Harry's heartbeat quicken. 

"Okay," Harry said, exaggerating the _ay_ out. 

"Do you think I'm important to the band?" 

Harry quickly spun Louis around and leaned down so their eyes were level. 

"Louis William Tomlinson, why on earth would you ask that? Of course you're important," Harry said with full confidence. Louis let out a sigh. 

"I just... I guess the fans don't seem to like me as much as they like you, or Liam, or Zayn or Niall. They think my voice is too high and it doesn't work with the rest of yours," Louis quietly admitted. Harry pulled him into a hug. 

"I _never_ want you to think that you're not important, boo. You add the perfect harmony to every song, the fans _adore_ you, and One Direction wouldn't be the same if we didn't have someone to pull pranks on Paul and Liam," Harry said before placing a kiss on his head. 

"I love you," Louis softly said. Harry hummed. 

"Why don't you get changed so I can walk you back to the bus?" Harry suggested, and Louis let go with a soft smile. 

"Alright, you staying?" Louis asked, and Harry laughed. 

"No, if I stay then the rest of the boys will get impatient," he said, and Louis laughed. 

"Fair enough. Get going then, I'll meet you at the bus," he said, and Harry left, giving him one last kiss before doing so. Louis watched him go to the other side of the curtain and smiled. He really does have the best boyfriend ever. 

\---

The bus was quiet, and Louis couldn't sleep. Lately, his mind kept reeling about how much better the band would be without him, and it was getting harder to ignore. If the fans didn't want him in the band, and Simon never gave him solos, would the band _really_ sound as good?

He couldn't do this tonight, he needed to actually sleep. Getting out of his bunk, he snuck over to Harry's bunk. Judging by the soft snores, he knew that Harry was asleep, so he had to be careful. 

Unfortunately, he wasn't careful enough. 

"Babe, what's up?" Harry asked with a tired rasp. Louis sighed, settling into the tight space next to Harry. 

"Can't sleep," he mumbled, closing his eyes. Harry kissed the back of his head. 

"You okay?" he asked. Louis nodded. 

"Same shit every night," he quietly said, and Harry sighed. 

"I'm sorry baby," he slurred, before his breaths evened back out. Louis cuddled closer to him, knowing that Harry wouldn't let him think anything bad about himself. 

With that last thought, Louis finally let sleep take over. 

\---

Louis was immediately disappointed when he woke up alone. Normally when he snuck into Harry's bunk, Harry would stick around until Louis woke up or vice-versa. 

"Harry?" Louis drawled out in a tired voice, barely opening his eyes. He immediately felt more awake, however, when he noticed he wasn't where he was supposed to be. 

Looking around, he realised he wasn't in a hotel. He knew exactly where he was. He was in a way-too familiar room. His childhood bedroom. 

"What the _fuck_?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if the start is slow, i promise it gets better:)  
> please kudos and comment!


	2. chapter 1.

_"What the Fuck?!"_

Louis blinked a couple of times to make sure he wasn't dreaming, and _yep_ , he was still in his childhood bedroom. What in the honest _fuck_ was he doing in his childhood bedroom?

Louis took a deep breath, trying to calm down. Maybe Modest! finally realized they needed a break and dropped them off overnight. Maybe they somehow ended up in Doncaster and got pissed, and he was lucky enough to not suffer a hangover. 

Harry. Maybe Harry would know what's going on, maybe he was at his own home in Holmes Chapel. 

Reaching for his phone, the first thing Louis noticed was the fact that that was _not his phone_. Rather, it looked similar to the phone he had before he had the money for a newer phone. That was when he started to realise something was off. 

The next sign that things weren’t right was the fact that there was no trace of him and Harry ever knowing each other, which scared Louis. He wasn't in his messages, his calls - which, neither were any of the other boys, Eleanor, or Simon, which was relieving and worrying at the same time - or his contacts in general. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck_ ," Louis felt his heart rate quicken. He dialled Harry's number, and it was immediately declined. Harry always declined numbers he didn't know unless he was expecting a call. He tried calling again, just to get the same response.

Louis then tried Niall, just to get the same reaction. Louis was starting to freak out, before he realised he could call Liam. He always picked up, no matter what. That's why he had to change his number so often. 

Unfortunately, Louis didn't know Liam's current number off the top of his head. He knew his previous number, and - actually, he didn't know if Liam changed it yet. It was worth a shot at least. 

Louis dialled the number and waited. It rang, and rang, and-

" _Hello_?"

Louis let out a sigh of relief.

"Liam! It's so nice to hear your voice Payn-"

" _Who is this?_ "

Louis felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. Maybe he just didn't have his number saved. 

"It's Louis? Tomlinson? The Tommo? You're bandmate?"

_"If you're calling my personal number to prank me, this isn't funny,"_ Liam said in a serious voice. 

"Liam wait-" He was gone. Louis looked at his phone. Liam really didn't know who he was?

Louis was officially freaking out. He quickly opened his browser and looked up One Direction, and saw that it was made up of his four best mates - but not him. 

"Oh my god," Louis breathed out, and checked the time. It was only ten in the morning, but it felt like much later. 

"Louis? Breakfast is ready, are you coming down?" His mum called. Louis almost went lightheaded hearing his mum. Under any other circumstance he would be excited to hear her, but not when he was questioning his entire reality. 

Louis took another breath, trying to calm himself down. He had to figure out what the fuck was going on. He wondered if Harry felt any different, if he even knew what was going on. Louis decided he would try to call him later, maybe Harry would realise it was his number and not some strangers.

"Louis? Are you awake?" his mum called again, and Louis shouted back a quick "Coming!" before slowly opening his door. 

The house looked nearly the same, save for the old pictures of him and his family looking more recent. Louis definitely didn't remember half of those pictures being taken. There was that he did reconise, one with Daisy and Phoebe clinging to his legs, which made Louis smile. He remembered taking that that one, it was the day before his eighteenth birthday when they all went sledding.

"Louis, your breakfast is getting cold!" his sister Lottie called from downstairs. Louis sighed. He didn't know how long it's been since he's seen any of his siblings. He made a mental note to visit them more often, he didn’t like the feeling of missing out on their lives.

He finally made his way downstairs where the rest of his family was already sat at the table. 

"Took you long enough," Fizzy, one of his middle sisters, commented. Louis wanted to shoot her a glare but all he could do was smile at her. He missed Fizzy, he missed all of them. If this was a dream, he would be sure to facetime them when he woke up. 

It had to be a dream, Louis realized. Why else would he be living at home when he was almost 21? Was he not financially set? It _is_ summer in the real world, maybe that had something to do with it?

"Are you okay honey? You don't seem like yourself this morning," His mum asked him after about a minute of Louis just sitting there. Louis looked at her and smiled. 

"Yeah, 'm fine," he lied, praying his mom didn't know his lying voice. Lucky for him, after almost three years in the spotlight he'd almost mastered the art of lying. 

"Lou! Lou! You said you would take us to the mall today right?" Daisy asked excitedly before his mum could say anything. Louis looked over to his twin sisters. They always loved when he was around, and it honestly made him happy that he had siblings that looked up to him. 

"Of course," he softly said, trying to be subtle about the fact that he didn't know about the plans. 

"I wanna go too," Fizzy said, and Lottie nodded her head in agreement. "Me too. I want to see if I can find any One Direction merch, especially merch with Harry. I _love_ Harry," she said with a happy smile. Louis's heart hurt at the mention of his lover's name.

“We know, Lottie, you never shut up about him,” Phoebe said in her high pitched voice, rolling her eyes.

“Phoebe, be nice to your sister. You’ll have a celebrity crush one day too,” his mum said, making Phoebe sink in her seat.

“Sorry,” she muttered, averting her gaze to the table.

None of them seemed to notice how quiet Louis had gotten. Out of everthing that had happened in the short amount of time Louis was awake, he was most worried about Harry. What if he was with someone else? What if he really didn’t know Louis?

“Lottie, tell me more about One Direction,” Louis asked, keeping his voice as stable as he could. Apparently this version of himself still hated boybands, because Lottie’s face made it seem like he asked her to give him a full makeover.

“No offence, Louis, but you hate One Direction,” she slowly said, and Louis knew she was right. Louis wouldn’t _hate_ his band if he never was in it, but he definitely wouldn’t listen to them. Well, maybe he would listen to the next album he was helping write, Midnight Memories, but only because he was writing it to sound like more... his taste. Besides, the only boys who had heard the songs he wrote for the new album were Liam and Harry, and they both loved them.

“Maybe I just misjudged them,” he said with a small smile. Lottie shrugged.

“Okay, well what do you want to know?”

There was so much Louis already knew, but if he wasn’t in the band anymore, there was probably more that he didn’t know.

“Well let’s start with who’s in the band,” he said simply. He couldn’t just ask about Harry, he didn’t even know if he was out in this place.

“Alright,” Lottie said, before she started to explain. “So there’s Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Liam Payne and Zayn Malik. They formed on the X-Factor back in 2010, but they’re not that well known outside of the UK. They have two albums, _Up All Night_ and Take Me Home, which are two of the best albums on the planet,” she rambled.

Not that well known outside of the UK? That wasn’t the One Direction he knew. The One Direction Louis was in was known worldwide. They already toured in America at this point, and they finished their London show last night. Their Manchester show was supposed to be tomorrow and,

_Wait._

“Lottie, what if I could get you tickets for their Manchester show tomorrow?” Louis asked.

“What?” Lottie and Jay asked at the same time, Jay sounding more confused while Lottie sounded more excited.

Louis knew that most nights him and the boys would meet the the fans with VIP tickets, so if he could get ahold of one, then maybe he could talk to the boys and see if they knew anything.

“Yeah, I might be able to get VIP tickets. No promises, but I think I can do it,” he said, and Lottie looked like she had just won the lottery.

“Really? You would do that?” Lottie asked excitedly, and Louis smiled. “Of course I would,” he said, trying to seem confident.

Truth is, in the real world, Harry had the idea of putting little easter eggs around the city they were touring next in a couple nights before. No fans knew about it, but if they found an easter egg, they would get VIP passes for free. Louis happened to know where they put the Manchester ones, he just hoped it hasnt changed when reality seemed to.

“Lou, you do know how much those things cost right?” Jay asked, and Louis nodded.

“I can get them cheaper mum, just trust me,” he said, and that seemed to be the end of the conversation because Daisy and Phoebe suddenly decided they wanted to leave for the mall right then and there.

Louis had to come up with a plan to get to manchester. He would have to leave after they got back from the mall, and even then he may not have enough gas money to get there and back. Maybe if he told his mum about the easter eggs, she would lend him some gas money.

He wondered if he even had a job in this world. Did he still play football? Did he even go to uni? He didn’t even finish his A-Level’s the second time, and he always dreaded the idea of continuing his schooling. There was so much he had to figure out.

“Louis, _Loooouis_ , let’s go!” Daise screeched, drawing Louis out of his thoughts. Somehow they had managed to get themselves dressed in the short amount of time he was zoned out. Lottie and Fizzy were coming downstairs, a little more dressed up than their younger sisters.

“Mum, do you need any help before we head out?” Louis asked, and Jay shook her head.

“Go have fun, I’ll take care of the kitchen,” she said with a soft smile. Louis nodded and looked at the four of his sisters.

“Ready?” he asked, and they nodded excitedly. Louis shoo’d them out the door.

“We’ll be back in a bit,” he called out, before grabbing what he assumed were the keys to his car and walking out the door himself. It looked like they all had the same cars as they did before Louis’ audition, so it wouldn’t be too hard to figure out.

“Lottie, play One Direction,” he said once he was settled, handing his sister the aux cord. Lottie gave him a wide smile and started playing their first album, _Up All Night_.

None of the songs sounded right at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please kudos and comment what you think! thank you for all the kind comments on the last chapter, they honestly motivated me to get this one out quicker. i hope you enjoyed :)


	3. chapter 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for context this is all in summer of 2013 xx

"Something's off about these songs," Louis said after they finished _I Want_. Instead of Louis singing the few lines in the chorus, they had Niall sing those lines, and it sounded all kinds of wrong. 

"You're just saying that because you hate boybands," Fizzy said from the back, to which Lottie agreed. At the next stoplight, Louis grabbed his phone from Lottie. 

"Let me see what other songs they have," he said, wanting to test a theory. His theory was correct, _Taken, Everything about you,_ and _Same Mistakes_ were all gone from the album. It was a shame, Louis thought those were there best songs. Switching to _Take Me Home_ , he noticed the same thing. All the songs he wrote on were missing. 

Louis decided to turn on _Loved You First,_ as that was the song he played to remind Harry that he had him before anyone else did. It didn't matter anymore, but Louis still liked the reminder. 

"I love this song!" Phoebe shouted excitedly from the backseat, and Louis smiled. It also sounded somewhat off, he definitely thought it was better in the real world. 

\---

After they got back from the mall, Lottie with two new One Direction shirts and a Harry Styles poster (which Louis may have bought for himself as well), Louis talked to his mum about his plan for getting VIP tickets. 

"I have a... _friend_ who's an insider with their management, and I heard a rumor that they leave little hints around the city that will lead them to a specific website where they can meet the One D boys for free," he explained, not realizing how much more sketchy it is when he explains it out loud. 

"It sounds like a scam, Louis," Jay said slowly, and Louis shook his head. 

"It's not though! And even if it is, I want to be able to take Lottie and Fizzy to their first concerts, maybe they can even meet their idols!"

That was an excuse. He was hoping that once he met Harry, something would click and Harry would know what was going on. Maybe Harry would recognize him, introduce him to the boys, and everything would fall back into place. 

"I'm not a huge fan of the idea, Louis," Jay started softly. Louis opened his mouth to protest yet again, but she continued before he could, "But you're an adult, and I trust that you know what you're doing. I just don't want you getting hurt."

Louis let out a huge sigh of relief. He didn't know how else he would be able to argue his case without exposing the truth to his mom. He wouldn't be surprised if she figured out anyway, but he still felt denial in the situation. It doesn't make sense why he would put that on his mother as well. 

How would he even tell her? _Hey, by the way mum, I'm not where I'm supposed to be and I'm pretty sure none of this is real because I'm actually world famous and haven't been living at home since I turned eighteen._

Yeah, no. 

Another problem that he realized while driving his sisters home was the question of, _Did I even audition?_ Maybe he auditioned in this world, but didn't make it through. He had no idea how he made it through in his reality, maybe this one was more logical. Maybe he overslept and missed it, or for-went it all together. He couldn't ask anyone, though, because that would make things suspicious and the last thing he wanted was to cause anyone else the same stress he felt. 

Deciding to get an early start, Louis thanked his mum and grabbed his keys. The drive from Doncaster to Manchester was about an hour an a half, which was nothing compared to what Louis was used to. While he wasn't normally the one driving, he still knew how to pass time, especially on long car rides. Long drives were amazing. 

Louis didn't feel like further torturing himself with One Direction for the time being, so he decided to put on the Killers instead. It was a nice break from what he'd been listening to earlier in the day, and it would give him a nice distraction during the hour drive.

Unfortunately, it ended up not being as useful as he thought, because about twenty minutes into the drive, Louis started thinking about how he could escape this reality. Maybe if he clicked his vans together three times, he would be back home, or if he and Harry had some sort of magical kiss, everything would be back to normal and he would wake up in Harry's arms again. 

Maybe it was a timed thing. He would have a week, as some sort of punishment for something he wasn't quite aware of. Maybe if he googled 'I woke up in the wrong reality' he would find an answer. 

Louis snapped back to reality when the chords of _Here With Me_ started to play. It was one of their newer songs, so Louis didn't know it as well, but he still enjoyed the song. 

"Wheels were turning, I remember when you were mine," Louis sang along with the song. 

"Just to reach you, baby I'd stand in line," As he sang, he realized that he could somewhat relate to the song. Harry had already declined his calls, but Louis was willing to fight to get him to remember what they were. 

He didn't know what he'd do if Harry didn't want to talk. As of that moment, Louis was confident that the only way he'd figure anything out is if he could talk to Harry. It would make the most sense that if they fell back in love, things could end up going back to normal. 

Or, Louis could wake up in the right bed tomorrow. That thought hadn't even crossed his mind somehow. 

The song wrapped up with soft electric guitar riffs playing in the background, before the intro to _Somebody Told Me_ started playing. 

"Oh _hell_ yeah," Louis shouted as he turned the volume up as loud as he could. 

"Breaking my back just to know your name, but heaven ain't close in a place like this," He shouted along to the song. 

He really did love long drives.

\---

Once he got to Manchester, he tried to remember where the _hell_ Harry put the hidden easter eggs. He told Louis in the real world, but Louis tended to zone out when Harry talked about the band.

He knew one of them was outside of AO Arena, but the question in play was _where_ around the arena it was. He drove around for a bit before remembering where it was. 

Harry always placed one of the easter eggs by an ATM close to the arenas, in case a fan was depositing money for a street vendor. Louis thought that was stupid when he first came up with the idea, but now Louis couldn't be more grateful.

Parking his car, Louis quickly got out, not even bothering to lock it, and sprinted over to the ATM. When there wasn't a slip of paper lying on top of it, Louis instantly lost hope, befor ehe remembered,

_"You put them at the bottom. If the someone's really desperate, they'll look under the ATM for spare change."_

_"Harry, I love you, but no one's going to look under the ATM's. Do you know exactly_ how _disgusting that is?"_

_"You never know."_

Louis had never dropped to his knees so fast for something that wasn't Harry before. Sure enough, taped to the bottom of the ATM, was a slip of paper that read:

_www.onedirectionmusic.com/vip-ticket-winner_

_Go to the link above to claim your free ticket(s)!_

Louis felt like he had just won the lottery. 

\---

He officially had the tickets two hours later. 

"Lottie, Fizzy, who's your favorite brother?" He called out from his room.

Both of them came running in at the same time, surprise and hope written all over their faces. "You did not," Lottie deadpanned, her voice laced with exitement. Louis just gave her a smirk, and suddenly he was being tackled by the teenage girls. 

"You're literally the best Louis," Fizzy said, and Louis smiled."I know," he said, and pushed them off. 

He really did miss his sisters, and despite the situation he would enjoy hanging out with them without being mobbed by fans. He didn't get to do that typically, so, as much as he hates his situation he _will_ be enjoying every moment of it. 

The girls thanked him one more time, and Louis decided it was time for him to go to bed. He was hoping that the sooner he fell asleep, the quicker he'd wake up in the real world. He debated calling Harry one last time, but if he picked up and told him (kindly) to fuck off, and recognized him at the show for the wrong reasons, then Harry would never want to see him again. 

All Louis knew was that tomorrow could potentially determine his fate, and he didn't know if he was ready. He wasn't much for praying, but that night, he prayed that he would wake up in Harry's arms again. With that, he turned his lights off and went to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's commented so far, they mean so much to me:) I hope you enjoyed, and dont forget to kudos/comment xx


	4. chapter 3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so so so sorry for the wait, it's been a busy week for me. good news though, I got accepted into college this week! there's hope for me yet after I graduate lmao

Louis was disappointed when he woke up alone the next morning. He had such high hopes when he went to bed the previous night, but it seemed to be for nothing. 

He didn't feel like getting out of bed. How could he when he wasn't where he was supposed to be? He didn't even know how to get out, and the one logical answer for his escape didn't even turn out to be the right one. It's only been a day but Louis was rapidly losing hope.

Louis shut his eyes in hopes of getting at least another hour of sleep, but it seemed fate had other plans. 

"Louis, what time are we leaving today?" Lottie asked through the door, not even bothering to check if he was awake. Louis decided to ignore her in hopes that she wouldn't answer. Lottie just knocked on the door and repeated her question.

"Probably around four, now let me sleep," he grumbled, but she still didn't go away. 

"Stan's downstairs, said he wanted to play some footie before he had to go to work," she said, and that woke Louis up. He hadn't talked to Stan Lucas since he still lived with Harry. He remembered Harry getting jealous of Stan, even though his best friend was as straight as they came. 

_"Louis, do you like Stan more than me?" Harry asked one night after Stan had went to his guest room for the night. Louis and Harry have only been dating for a month, and Harry was still very insecure about their relationship. He claimed that he was fine, but Louis knew that his extroverted personality could attracted more people than needed. In the end, though, Harry knew that Louis wanted him more than anything else._

_"Harry, what are you on about? Stan's my best friend, yes, but_ you're _my boyfriend," he said, grabbing Harry's hands. "I haven't seen Stan in person since X-Factor, so I've been excited to catch up with him. That's all."_

_Harry looked down and mumbled something that Louis couldn't hear._

_"What was that, love?" He asked, and Harry sighed. "You've been ignoring me all day, I just... I thought you got tired of me," he said quietly. Louis pulled him into a hug._

_"Harry Edward Styles, I could never get tired of you. You're the most interesting person I know," he said honestly._

_Louis still thought that statement was true._

"I'll be down in a second," Louis sighed, rolling out of bed. He wasn't really in the mood for football, but he did miss Stan, even if it wasn't his Stan. He threw a shirt on and made his way downstairs, noticing Lottie finally left his door. 

"Stan!" Louis said happily when he got down stairs. Stan got and greeted him with their trademark handshake that they've used since secondary school.

"Tommo, what's good?" Stan asked, exaggerating Louis' nickname. Louis let out a augh, he was only used to hearing Liam and Niall use that nickname. It was kind of nice to hear it from another mouth. 

"Same old, same old," Louis lied, praying Stan wouldn't notice. Lucky for him he didn't, because Stan grabbed the football he brought and dragged Louis outside so they could kick it around the park for a bit. 

"I'm going to a One Direction concert tonight," Louis decided to bring up. He knew Stan would make fun of him, but he also knew Stan was pretty smart when it came to philosophy. He didn't know how he would bring up the fact that he wasn't where he was supposed to be, but he figured if he dropped enough hints then he would eventually connect the dots.

Stan dropped the football and started to dribble it around his feet before kicking it back to Louis. "That's the band your sisters like, right?" He asked. Louis was glad Stan didn't make fun of him for going to it; however, he was also hoping he would so he could defend himself with some lame-ass excuse of "I feel connected to them" or something along those lines. He forgot that he's not in a movie.

"Yeah, I got Lottie and Fizzy VIP tickets so they can meet the band," He said, kicking the ball back. 

"Well damn," Stan said, stopping the ball, before kicking it harder to Louis' left. "Big brother of the year goes to you I guess. How the hell could you afford VIP tickets to fucking meet the lads themselves?"

Louis threw his leg out to the ball, stopping it just before it got past him. "I know people on the inside, they like to plant things around the cities that can get them VIP passes essentially," he explained, kicking the ball full send back to Stan. 

Stan stopped the ball to take a break it seemed, looking at Louis with wide eyes. "How the _hell_ do you know people who work for the UK's biggest band?" he asked. 

Louis of five minutes ago would've told Stan the truth, but now that he had the chance, his confidence was gone. "I mean, I just do," he said, the worst lie he's told since he woke up outside of his normal life. 

Stan raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't say anything. "Do you want to keep kicking the ball, or do you want to go get breakfast? Smith's is only a five minute walk," he suggested. Louis nodded, not knowing who or what the hell Smith's was. "Let's go," he said. _Top Tier Acting_ , he thought as Stan picked up the football and they started walking. 

\---

As it would turn out, Smith's is a new little cafe in Doncaster that was about a year old, hence why Louis had never heard about it. It's food was enjoyable, Louis would definitely be back when he was back in the real world. 

Stan never got suspicious of Louis not being himself, which Louis decided was ultimately a good thing. If someone sprung on him that they weren't in the right world, he would check them into a mental institution, and he didn't doubt that Stan would be any different. 

They stayed at Smith's and talked about anything that came to mind for about an hour before Stan had to leave for work. It was about noon when Louis got home, and he had wanted to leave at four, so he had plenty of time before he had to start getting ready. Unfortunately, without the nice distraction that is named Stan Lucas, his mind went straight back to Harry and the rest of the boys. He wondered if their personalities were any different. 

Without Louis, was Liam still as stuck up and serious as he was when they first met? Were Harry and Zayn still stuck in their shells? Maybe they didn't need Louis to do all that. They easily could've corrupted Liam without him. 

"Louis! Are you ready for tonight?" Fizzy asked him when he walked into the kitchen, looking as if she was already ready to leave. 

"Yeah, can't wait," Louis said, unconvincingly. Fizzy frowned. 

"Do you even know anything about One Direction?" she asked, and Louis shrugged. "Not really," he said. It was only a half-lie. He knew about the _world_ famous One Direction, not the UK famous One Direction. Even so, he knew more than she did. 

Fizzy pulled her phone out, typed something in, and handed Louis her phone. She looked up one of their X-Factor video diaries. 

"I think that's the best way for you to get to know them outside of their music, they haven't changed much since their X-Factor days," she explained, and Louis hit play. 

Liam seemed to be about the same, maybe slightly less irritated because of the lack of shenanigans Louis and Harry liked to pull. Zayn somehow seemed even quieter, Niall wasn't as giggly, and Harry. 

Harry looked like he was enjoying himself, but wasn't having fun. He almost looked like he was glad to still be in the competition rather than being with his four- his _three_ new best friends. 

Louis didn't want to admit it, but _maybe_ he helped them through the X-Factor days. That was when he felt most relevant after all, being the only one who knew how to lighten the mood while keeping things serious. He was the oldest child in his family, that was like a second nature to him. 

"They seem nice," Louis said when the video was over. He barely watched any of it, he was more focused on Harry more than anything. The way he just looked bored when anyone else was talking, the glint in his eye only there when he was talking about the fans or the show. It was weird, something was definitely off in the whole group. 

If things went according to plan, maybe he would find out tonight if they've gotten better without him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope that somewhat made up for the wait, if the next chapter goes according to plan (I havent written it yet lmao) we should have our first Larry interaction since the first chapter! so stay tuned, and don't forget to kudos and comment :)


	5. chapter 4.

"Lottie! Fizzy! We have to go!" Louis called upstairs. He was frustrated with his sisters to say the least. It felt like as soon as they had ten minutes before they had to leave, they both suddenly decided they forgot to do one thing or another. Lottie didn't like the way she did her hair, Fizzy didn't like what she was wearing, and Louis just wanted to leave so they could get there. The show started at seven, and Louis wanted to get there at five because he couldn't remember if this show met the VIP people before or after. He wanted to say before, but it always depended on the show. 

"Three more minutes and I'll be ready," Lottie called down as Fizzy half-ran down the stairs. 

"Do you want to meet One Direction or not?" Louis asked, which seemed to work because less than a minute later Lottie was downstairs. 

"Finally," Louis said, and Lottie shot him a glare before following Fizzy outside. Louis sighed and shouted a quick goodbye to his mother, before following his sisters. 

\---

"Who do you even know that helped you get VIP tickets? Like i know you said it was a manager, but what kind?" Lottie asked after about thirty minutes of driving. Louis internally froze, somehow not thinking that far ahead into the question. 

"Well, I..." he stopped for a moment to think. "I went out drinking a few nights ago and met their tour manager, Paul Higgins," he said, praying she wouldn't think too much into it. Unfortunately, she did anyway. 

"Why would their tour manager be in Doncaster instead of with the boys on tour?" She asked, obviously not believing him. 

"Family stuff, he wouldn't tell me what," he said, then turned the radio up so she wouldn't keep talking about it. _We are never ever getting back together_ by Taylor Swift was playing, which led Louis to wonder - did Taylor and Harry ever end up doing the stunt earlier in the year? The only reason they even had that stunt in the first place was because Eleanor wasn't doing anything to stop their rumors. Especially considering they were apparently not that well known in the US anymore. He would have to look into that later. 

When they finally arrived at the venue, the general line was a lot longer than Louis thought it would be. The pit line looked like it was starting to grow, and the VIP line looked exceptionally short compared to the rest of the lines. Louis brought Lottie and Fizzy to the VIP line and waited. 

About an hour into waiting, someone - Greg, Louis recognized - started to bring people inside. "I told you it was a good thing we left early," Louis said to Lottie. 

"We've been waiting for an hour," Lottie retorted, and Fizzy giggled. She was clearly nervous, Louis knew her to get giggly when she got nervous. He just hoped they wouldn't do too bad when meeting the boys. 

Louis hoped _he_ wouldn't do too bad when meeting the boys. He knew them as his best friends and boyfriend, whereas to them, he was just another fan. If he didn't make some sort of progress because of the fact, he might actually cry. 

Three more sets of fans went in before it was their turn. Louis was glad that they got there when they did, because suddenly the line behind him looked a lot longer. 

Greg guided himself and his sisters into the venue, and it took Louis everything in him not to make some sort of quip or joke to him. He wasn't used to Greg, or any of the security guards for that matter, not restraining him from doing something stupid, it just wasn't right. 

They went into a room, and _this was it_. In stood Harry, Liam, Niall, and Zayn, in that order, against a screen with their logo on it. 

"You have five minutes, please do not harass the boys or ask them any personal questions. I will be keeping an eye on the room to make sure you do not do anything to harm them," Greg informed, and _god_ was it weird to be on the receiving end of the warning. 

"Thank you sir," Louis said, proud of himself for not slipping up. They looked over to the boys, and Louis immediately locked eyes with Harry. Harry hadn't seemed to notice him yet, and if he did, then he didn't recognise him at all. 

"What are your names?" Liam asked once Paul was settled by the door. Louis could see Lottie and Fizzy freaking out next to him, so he decided to take charge. 

"I'm Louis Tomlinson, these are my sisters Lottie and Fizzy," he said, and that was when Harry decided to stare him down. It wasn't an unsettling stare, just one that looked as if he were trying to figure something out. 

Lottie and Fizzy introduced themselves to all the boys, and it seemed to be going well for them. Louis noticed that Harry hadn't taken his eyes off of him yet, and it was starting to feel slightly unsettling. 

"Did you audition for the X-Factor by any chance?" Harry asked when it seemed they were far enough away.

_Did he?_ Louis had no bloody idea if he auditioned or not. He couldn't be honest in this world, and-

"Yeah, he did in 2010!" Lottie said happily, and Louis let out a sigh of relief. Apparently he did audition, he just didn't make it. Considering how bad his audition was, he wasn't surprised in the least. 

"I know where I recognize you from!" Harry shouted, cutting Louis out of his thoughts. "I wee'd on your shoes in the wash room the day of auditions! You took a picture of me and said you were my first fan!" he said with the widest smile, and Louis' heart warmed up. 

Something about the fact that Harry _still_ pissed on his shoe in this world gave him a slight sense of comfort. "You remember that?" Louis asked, a small smile playing on his lips. 

"Of course, you don't forget about weeing on a person's shoe like that. You know how embarrassing it is? Keeps me up at night, really," Harry laughed, and the rest of the boys looked at him, confised. 

"You never told us you pee'd on someone's shoes," Liam said seriously while Niall broke out into laughter. Harry looked down with a smile. "I'll tell you about it later," he said, before looking back at Louis. 

"If you want to come backstage after the show, maybe I can sign a shirt or something for my first fan," he said with a small smile. "My mum might even still have the picture."

Louis felt like he was about to implode. How did Harry remember him? Harry wanted to meet him after the show. 

_Harry wanted to meet him after the show._ That was what fans wrote on about them on that fanfiction site Wattpad, wasn't it? Random fans getting invited backstage?

"We would love that," Louis said, looking into Harry's eyes. He missed those eyes. He missed _Harry._ The end of the show couldn't come fast enough. Lottie and Fizzy also seemed excited, as he had never seen them this happy. Louis was glad that he helped cause that.

"Good, it would be nice to catch up with my first fan," Harry said, and Louis felt his face flush red. Greg then motioned for the band, him, and his sisters to get a quick picture, and Louis fell naturally under Harry's arm. 

"Time's up," he said after he took it, and Louis looked back to his boyf- to Harry. 

"See you later?" Louis said with a small smile, and Harry nodded, beaming. 

"Yeah, which room is your VIP box?" he asked. 

"Room 5," Louis said, and Harry told Greg to write that down. "Stay in your room after the show, and we'll send someone to come get you, alright?"

Louis nodded. "Of course, Haz- Harry, see you after the show," he said, mentally kicking himself for the nickname slip. Lucky for him, Harry didn't seem to notice, because he just told him goodbye as they were escorted to their room. 

"We _actually_ get to hang out with _One Direction_ , oh my god. Sydney's going to be _so_ jealous," Fizzy said excitedly as they walked to their room. Louis just smiled, praying that tonight would be the night he found answers to his problem. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the best chapter, I'm sorry, but hey! They met! Harry remembered Louis!
> 
> Keep commenting and leaving kudos, and remember to STREAM TF OUT OF DEFENCELESS!! thank you :)


	6. chapter 5.

The concert, while it _was_ a One Direction concert, didn't _feel_ like one. The energy just wasn't _there_ , Louis noticed. 

Liam looked incredibly bored, almost nervous, even though he'd been performing for a couple years, Niall looked like he was trying to entertain him but failing, Harry's energy was just _gone_ , if anything Zayn seemed the most normal out of all of them. 

He also noticed he didn't recognize the opening band. In Louis' world, 5 Seconds of Summer was supposed to be opening, but he didn't even get the names of the current band. 

The songs were missing something as well. Just like all their recordings, all the songs sounded slightly flat. He was positive that they sounded fine to the rest of the world, but to someone who was originally in most of these songs, it wasn't right at all. 

Harry was still interactive with the crowd, which always made Louis happy. He genuinely believed that the younger man was born for the stage. With a name like Harry Styles, and with his personality, it just made sense.

Alas, the concert did eventually end, and Louis would've given it a 7/10. The energy wasn't there, not the way it used to be, but his sisters seemed to think different. 

"That was the best concert ever!" Fizzy said to Louis as soon as One Direction exited the stage. 

"Yeah, and now we get to meet them? This is a dream come true!" Lottie agreed, still in a state of euphoria from the show. Louis smiled and nodded, hoping that Harry hadn't forgot about the agreement. 

Louis was hoping that after he and Harry got to talking, maybe Harry would have some sort of memory from the real world with him. He knew it couldn't be like the movies, but neither is waking up in the wrong place usually.

Another plan he had was bringing up the fact that he's had "voice lessons" since his audition, making his singing significantly better than it had been. Maybe if he sang for Harry, and Harry had them sing for the boys, and the boys let him sing something with them, that would break this dream and things would be normal again. 

_Not the movies,_ Louis reminded himself again. 

"Are you the Tomlinsons?" A guard that Louis didn't recognize asked them, and Louis nodded his head. 

"Follow me," the guard said, to which Lottie and Fizzy happily complied, while Louis almost wanted to die. This was the moment, he'd be talking to Harry, if he fucked it up, it was over for him. 

"Right in here," The guard said, snapping Louis back to reality yet again. He really didn't think that it would be that quick of a walk, otherwise he would've prepared himself a bit more. He felt sick from nerves, what would happen if he accidentally let it slip that they were actually dating?

He'd be locked in a mental institution, that's what. 

"Hey girls, Hi Louis!" Harry said happily when they walked in. Liam, Zayn, and Niall gave them a quick wave, to which Louis returned. Harry whispered something to them, which was probably something along the lines of "I want to talk to Louis alone," because when he looked back over to Louis, Niall asked the girls to go over to him.

Harry walked over to Louis, and Louis gave him a shy smile. He didn't know what to say, it wasn't like he could blurt out "Hey, boyfriend that's not my boyfriend, I'm actually supposed to be in your band but I'm in the wrong world." That would scare Harry away for good, and probably get himself locked away.

"Did you like the show?" Harry asked when he was finally with Louis. Louis smiled, of course the first thing Harry would ask would be about the show. That's what Louis loved about him, he always cared about other people's entertainment over his own. There were so many times after shows where he knew Harry felt like he failed the rest of the band, where he felt generally sick, etc, but if there were fans to greet after the show he wouldn't let his own problems bother him. 

"I did, you did amazing Harry," Louis said truthfully. He almost threw in a quick line of "I knew from the moment you splashed piss on me that you'd make it, and here you are," but he refrained. 

"I'm glad," Harry said with a wide smile, his dimples popping out. "I dedicated it to my first ever fan."

Louis laughed at that. He loved that Harry was still cheesy here without him, it was another thing Louis loved about him.

"Did you now?" Louis asked, hoping to start a bit of banter. If Louis was good at one thing, it would be flirty banter. 

"I did," Harry said back, matter-of-factly. Louis laughed, which he noticed made Harry smile. 

"So what have you been up to all these years?" Harry asked, and Louis had no clue how to answer that. 

_Travelling with you and your band because I actually did pass auditions. In fact, this whole thing right now isn't real. Also we've been dating since 2010._

"I've taken some voice lessons, definitely think I've gotten better. Also started some song-writing, definitely think there's potential in my music now," he said with a small smile. 

"Have you now?" Harry asked with a surprised smile. "Maybe you could audition again, and we could work together!"

_Definitely_ not _auditioning again_ , Louis thought. The only think he liked about not being in One Direction was the freedom he had to be himself, something he didn't realise he had before now. He hasn't been able to be himself since they signed the contract. He could still express himself for a year after, but after the fans started speculating about his sexuality, Simon shut that down as fast as he could. 

Louis missed the feeling of being out. He remembered coming out to his mum and dad, both offering their overwhelming support. Naturally, they were both livid when they heard that Simon put him back in the closet because of his relationship with Harry. It didn't make sense to anyone, especially because of the fans support. 

"Yeah, Maybe," Louis said slowly, hoping Harry didn't notice his skepticism. 

"Hey, can I get your number?" Harry suddenly asked, taking Louis by surprise. This was definitely a good thing, maybe reconnecting his and Harry's relationship was the key to his escape. 

"Yeah, sure," Louis said, trying to sound casual. 

"It's just I- wait really?" Harry asked, looking like an excited puppy. Louis laughed, he really missed his boy. 

"Of course, I can't stay here forever and it would be nice to properly catch up, i need to save the others from my sisters if they haven't already made them uncomfortable enough," Louis joked, looking over to his sisters. Surprisingly enough, they genuinely seemed to be getting on with the boys. Niall even looked like a thirteen year old himself, which made Louis smile. 

"Yeah, looks like they're _so_ miserable," Harry joked, and Louis slapped him. 

"You know what I mean, they're teenage fan girls," Louis said, making Harry simply laugh. 

"Do you have your phone on you? I was serious when I said I wanted to catch up sometime," Harry asked, and Louis could feel his heart stop. 

"Y-yeah, yeah, um..." he fumbled at his pockets, trying to get his phone out. He opened up his contacts and handed his phone to Harry. "Just um... put it in, I guess?"

Harry snorted, making Louis realise what he just said. "Oh shut up," he said to Harry, slapping his arm. 

"I'm trusting you won't give this away to anyone?" Harry asked, handing Louis phone back. 

"Never in a million years," Louis swears. He knows the pain of having your personal phone number leaked, and he would never let that happen to Harry if he could help it. 

"I trust you," Harry said softly, and _god_ Louis missed those eyes. He stares into a minute more before announcing to the girls, "Time to go!"

They bid the One Direction boys a farewell, and suddenly they were back on the road for Doncaster.

"Did you have a good night, girls?" Louis asked, and they both smiled widely. 

"That was the best night ever! They were so nice!"

Louis smiled and hummed in agreement. It was a pretty good night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had a bit of writers block with this chapter, but i hope it was still good lol, sorry for the wait on the update :)
> 
> comment what you think about the chapter and whether you think Temporary Fix radiates daddy energy (a debate i'm having with someone rn lol)


	7. chapter 6.

Louis didn't sleep at all that night. Harry had asked him to text him when he got home, just to make sure he was safe, and after he did, he didn't _stop_ texting Harry. Harry wanted to know about what he's been doing the last three years, and well, so did Louis. He didn't know how to answer any of the questions Harry had asked, so he just made shit up on the fly. 

_Yeah, I've been taking singing lessons since X-Factor, I've also started on guitar and dancing lessons._

_I've dabbled a little bit in football, I almost got to play for the Donny Rovers but work got in the way._

_I did work at a record store but I quit some time back_

Okay so he didn't _entirely_ lie, but he did have to come up with stories that wouldn't make him seem weird or suspicious. Harry didn't seem to catch on, thankfully. Louis couldn't even _began_ to think for an explanation if he got even a little bit suspicious. 

He learned that in this world, Harry never dated Taylor - which made sense, all things considered - but he _did_ have quite a few hookups with Nick Grimshaw in the past few years, which made Louis want to kick the radio host's ass. 

"It's not real," Louis kept repeating to himself after Harry revealed that.

He also learned that while Harry wasn't _completely_ out of the closet, management _did_ let him say he was experimenting with boys once. Louis was jealous of that, but a part of him always knew that management would've been nicer about their sexualities if they weren't dating. Actually, Louis at least probably wouldn't have been out to their management if he wasn't totally in love with Harry from the moment he laid eyes on the curly boy. 

He also figured out that Niall was the 'funny one' of the group. Back in the early days of One Direction, they liked to frequently check what the fans had labelled them as, and Louis had been the 'funny one' since day one it seemed. Embarrassing himself on the video diaries really helped that, he assumed. 

Niall was one of the funniest people he knew, so it was no surprise that he took Louis' place. Liam was still the 'dad' of the group, but apparently he wasn't as corrupted without Louis. He learned this because One Direction somehow got second instead of third in the X-Factor, and it was probably because Louis wasn't spending every waking hour trying to annoy the piss out of Liam or impressing Harry. 

_See how much more successful they are without you?_ a voice said in Louis' mind, and Louis felt his heart drop. The voice was right. Without him, they almost won the X-Factor, and while they weren't famous worldwide, they were still pretty big in Europe.

 _'I'm going to go to bed,'_ Louis texted not long after that. After his sudden realization of how much better off the band was without him, he didn't feel like talking anymore.

 **' _Aww, why? :('_ **Harry asked, and Louis smiled at the emoticon. 

_'It's 2:30, Harry. I'm tired'_ , he texted back, which was true, it _was_ 2:30. They've been talking for nearly 3 hours. _'Besides, you should rest after the show. We can text any time,'_ Louis added as an after thought. 

_**'Okayyyy you're right, text me in the morning?'** _Harry asked, making Louis' smile somehow grow larger.

_'Of course:)'_

**_':)'_ **

Harry's texting style definitely hasn't changed in this world, Louis thought to himself as he shut off his phone. He was glad that, even though he wasn't famous, he'd still found Harry. He _did_ promise Harry that even if they didn't make it through X-Factor, he would find his way back to him. It was kind of poetic how that worked out, really. 

\---

**_February 2nd, 2011_ **

_"Do you ever thing about what would've happened if Simon decided to not put the band together?" Harry asked, head resting on Louis' lap. Louis looked down at his boyfriend, confused._

_"What do you mean?" He asked, and Harry shrugged._

_"Like, what if he just sent us home? Or if you made it in the band and I didn't, or vice versa. What would life had been like? Do you think we would still be dating?" Harry elaborated, looking Louis in the eyes._

_"I've never really thought about that, to be honest," Louis said, before taking a second to think. "I think, no matter what happened, I would've found you anyway."_

_Harry smiled at that._

_Another moment passed, then, "Louis, do you believe in fate?"_

_Louis laughed. "Harry, what's with all these questions tonight?" He asked softly._

_"I just... after reading the card you gave me, I just feel so, so lucky to have met you," he said truthfully. Louis' heart sped up, a smile making its way onto Louis' face._

_"Yes, I think I do believe in fate, why do you ask?" Louis asked with a small giggle._

_"Do you think the reason we didn't meet at the Script concert is because fate wanted us to meet on the X-Factor?" He asked._

_"That's another thing I've never really thought about," Louis said. "But it is possible that the universe wasn't ready for us yet."_

_"The universe_ still _isn't ready for us, Lou. If it were, we'd be too powerful," Harry laughed, which, he was right. They would be too powerful._

_"Your mind works in mysterious ways, Styles," Louis said, leaning down to kiss him on the forehead._

_"But you love me for it, right?" Harry asked, still giggling._

_"That I do, my love. That I do."_

\---

Louis was slightly less disappointed to wake up alone than he was the past few nights. He was starting to lose hope that he would make it back to his world, considering nothing he'd thought of had worked so far, and he had mixed feelings about it. On one hand, he could be open and free, but on the other hand, he couldn't do what he loved. 

Even if he _did_ like the freedom, Louis knew this wasn't where he was meant to be. He was sure that if he stayed in this realm long enough, it would probably fall apart or something. That's how it worked in the movies, and he's never seen anything like this happen in real life, so he really had no clue if the movies were right or not. 

He picked up his phone for the morning and saw a text from Harry. 

**_'Good morning! Hope you slept well! I'm currently still on a bus to the Netherlands for my next show, so text me as soon as you wake up bc I'm boredddddd - Harry :)'_ **

Louis smiled. He was glad Harry's texting style was at least the same. He liked to drag out words in his texts like that, and Louis never thought he'd miss that. 

_'I'm awake, how's your drive?'_ Louis asked, to which Harry replied less than a minute later. 

**_'Boring, the boys are no fun :( Liam is cranky in the morning, Zayn's still asleep, and Niall, I love him, but he can be too much this early in the morning.'_ **

Louis wasn't surprised. It was almost as if nothing had changed. 

_'Sounds fun haha'_

_**'So fun. Do you have any fun plans today?'** _

Other than trying to figure out his dilemma for the third day in a row, Louis had no idea what his plans were. He actually had no clue if he worked, he assumed he didn't have any classes because it was summer, and there were no impromptu concerts he had to go to. 

_'Not really, there's not much that happens in Donny, as much as I love it here,'_ he ended up texting. 

**_'Holmes Chapel was the same way. I told you I used to live in Holmes Chapel, right? I even worked in a bakery there! :D'_ **

Ah, there it is, the classic bakery mention. Louis didn't know if it was going to be brought up, but he knew that Harry took great pride in working in that bakery. 

He decided that he'd respond later, because he was starting to get hungry and he wanted to brainstorm reasons that could've landed him here that he hasn't thought of. Harry could wait, but Louis? Louis didn't know how much longer he would last. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm going to try to update a little more, the previous chapter was somehow probably the hardest for me to write, but with harry in the picture now, it's probably going to be easier:)
> 
> Dont forget to kudos and comment, and if you haven't checked out my other work, Back To You yet, you should! :)


	8. chapter 7.

" _Whatcha doing?_ " Harry asked over the phone. When Louis forgot to text him back, Harry decided to give him a call because he was just _that_ bored. He wasn't on the bus anymore, but they had about an hour before they were doing anything, and Harry claimed that he wanted to talk to his new friend. 

"Practicing Essays," Louis said casually, praying that Harry wouldn't look too much into that. Unfortunately, his luck with Harry letting things slide has passed. 

_"Oh, are you in summer classes?"_ He asked, and Louis shook his head. 

"No, but I almost failed my literature class last semester, so I wanted to practice my essay writing for next sem," he lied like it was nothing. He was almost concerned with how easy it was for Louis to lie to his boyfriend of another world. Maybe because he wasn't technically Harry, his subconscious made it easier.

 _"Oh, fun. I never finished literature, I kind of miss it,"_ Harry said, and Louis wanted to say something along the lines of 'I can teach you', but he had maybe a year more on him when it came to literature classes. 

Louis wasn't even working on essays. He was writing down every possibility he could think of that could get him back home. So far, he's come up with:

_Sing with One Direction_

_Kiss Harry_

_Get Harry to fall in love with me again_

_Get signed_

That was all Louis could think of, and it honestly sounded more like a bucket list than anything. He wouldn't complain about the first three, but he was definitely going to wait on the last one; having to sign his life away again sounded like hell now that he knew what it really meant. 

He was lost on what else he could possibly do other than just wait it out. Maybe it was a week long thing? See what life was like without the fame, the stress, then go back to how things were?

That would've been the easiest option, but Louis didn't feel like waiting to find out. He missed singing, songwriting, and fucking with his best mates. 

_"You've been quiet for a minute, is something wrong?"_ Harry asked, breaking Louis out of his thoughts. He didn't even realize that he went all silent on Harry, he kind of felt bad. 

"Not much, just working on this essay. I think I figured out an idea for a song, though," Louis said, because suddenly he felt inspired, and what better songwriting material was there than getting lost in another reality where his boyfriend had just met him, and he probably wouldn't get him back?

He kept thinking back to that _5 Seconds Of Summer_ song, _Lost In Reality_. He remembered joking to Calum about it, about them chasing a girl who didn't even exist, because that's what the song sounded like without context. Now, the song had a different meaning, and he was _sure_ the 5sos boys would make fun of him for taking the song seriously. 

_"Ooh, what about?"_ Harry asked, interested. 

"Can't tell you that," Louis said with a smirk. What was he supposed to say? 

_"Will you at least show me when you write it? We need help on our next album, we have two songs so far and this album needs to be ready in two months, if it's good maybe you could help us write it!"_ Harry rambled on, and Louis' heart jumped. Maybe he was on the right track, he had so many songs written for their next album in the real world, and most of them were already approved by the boys and management. 

"I'll consider it, but I need some time to write it, so is it okay if I hang up?" Louis asked. He didn't want to hang up, but with the direction things were headed, he was definitely going to slip up soon. 

_"Yeah, yeah, I should probably go get ready anyway. I have to be at an interview in an hour, you know how those are,"_ Harry said, and Louis completely understood. Getting ready for interviews were a pain, especially when it was someone else getting you ready. Louis did _not_ miss that.

"Talk later?" Louis asked, hopeful. Luckily, Harry hadn't been tired of him yet, because he answered with a happy _"Of course,"_ before hanging up.

Louis put his phone down and moved his paper full of possibilities for what he needs to do aside, and grabbed a notebook he saw laying on the desk. Opening it up, he found it was completely empty. He grabbed a pencil and flipped back to the first page.

"I want you here with me," Louis softly sang to himself, writing it down. He realized that was apart of another song he had started writing, so he erased it and tried again. 

"I wish you were here with me," He song softly to himself, changing the tune. It was good, but it didn't sound right. 

"Right now, I wish you were here with me," he tried once more, and wrote it down because that was a great start. 

"Right now, everything is new to me," he sang again, the words rolling off his tongue as he wrote. He didn't know where to go after that, so he turned to the first page and decided to try again. He liked the lyrics he wrote, but they felt more like a chorus rather than a verse. 

"Lights go down, and i hear you calling to me," Louis sang, but he didn't write it down. 

"Lights go down, and the night is calling to me," better. 

Louis continued like that for about an hour, writing down and singing, erasing what he didn't like, and trying again, before he had a good amount of a song written. 

He decided to call it _Right Now,_ just because that was the only title he could think of that made sense. He contemplated telling Harry how much of the song he'd gotten done, but then he remembered that his not-boyfriend was probably still in an interview. Upon realizing that, he decided to call Stan instead. Before he did so, he wanted to go outside because his room was starting to feel slightly stuffy. 

"Mom, I'm going out!" Louis called out to the house as he ran downstairs, and before anyone could say anything, he was out of the house.

He pulled his phone out as he walked down the sidewalk, and dialled Stan's number. He picked up after three rings. 

_"Hey Tommo, what's up?"_ Stan asked as soon as the line connected. 

"I actually have a question," Louis said slowly, and Stan hummed on the other line, indicating Louis to ask away. 

"What do you- You're into weird philosophy shit, right? Or like, science shit?" He asked, not exactly knowing what his situation was exactly. Was it philosophy? Was it like the multiverse theory, where he was actually on another earth? That definitely sounded closest to his situation. 

_"Yeah, why do you ask?"_ Stan asked, the phone line cracking a little bit. Louis assumed Stan was probably doing something, so he was going to try to make this quick. 

"What do you know about the multiverse? Like, say someone ended up on another version of earth, how would they get back to their version?" 

He could almost _see_ Stan stop in his tracks. _"What the fuck kind of question is that?"_

Louis could feel his heart start to race, this was it, he was fucked. "I just read something and got curious," he said, praying that Stan couldn't hear the nervousness in his voice. 

_"Well I guess I know a little bit, but it might confuse you,"_ Stan warned, and Louis quickly told him that he didn't care.

 _"So we don't exactly know if the multiverse theory is true, however, it is very possible. Basically, it's like different versions of our earth, like, there could be a world where you made it passed your X-Factor audition, or one where we play for the Donny rovers, or even one where we're American,"_ Stan explained, and Louis' heart stopped. So he could be on another _planet?_ He didn't say anything though, wanting to hear everything Stan had to say. 

_"It's not been proved that it exists, though, and no one's been able to get to or from any other earths. It's near impossible, so as for them getting back, I guess they would just have to hope for the best,"_ Stan concluded, and that was _not_ what Louis wanted to hear. 

"Then it's a good thing no one knows if it's real or not," Louis said, trying to control the shake in his voice. Stan laughed on the other line. 

_"Honestly, I would hate to be the person who figures out that it's real without knowing how to they got there,"_ he said, and Louis couldn't talk anymore. He could feel his eyes tearing up, and honestly, he was surprised he went this long without breaking down. 

"Yeah," he simply said. Luckily, Stan was supposedly busy, so he hung up less than a minute later. 

What if he _was_ that person that proved the multiverse theory and could never make it back to tell anyone about it? What Stan was talking about sounded an awful lot like his situation, which was what scared Louis the most. 

What didn't make sense was the fact that if he ended up on another earth, why wasn't there another Louis? The whole multiverse thing would only make sense if there was another Louis roaming around, right?

Louis' mind was racing, he was overwhelmed, and he didn't know how much more he could take not knowing what was going on. He could feel the overwhelming reality of not knowing where he was, how he got there, and how he could get out finally crashing on him, as if his mind didn't register it until Stan told him that no one would know how to get out. 

He walked to the nearest bench and practically threw himself on hit, the floodgates of tears finally breaking through. He put his head in his hands and just sobbed, and didn't stop for what felt like hours. 

He just wish he knew what he of all people did to deserve this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit thanks for 55 kudos guys! i'm glad so many of you are enjoying this fic, it means so much to me that people appreciate my work <3
> 
> (also in case it starts to seem messy for louis i DO know why he's here and how he's getting back so trust me here guys)


	9. chapter 8.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god thank you guys so much for 1000 hits!! i love you guys, thank you for reading my work :)

Louis finally zoned back to reality after it was dark out, to the sound of his ringtone going off. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the caller ID. 

_Mum_

Louis knew he was in deep shit, his mom usually would let him do his thing in the real world, but he's assuming his mum here wasn't as laid back, considering he didn't suddenly leave for three years to become world-famous. 

"Hey mum," Louis said over the phone his voice slightly cracking from crying for hours before. 

" _Louis William Tomlinson, where are you? You've been gone for hours,"_ His mum asked, her tone angry with a hint of concern. 

"I just went on a walk, I did go visit Stan for a bit, but I'm heading back now," he said, and god he hated lying to his mum. The only thing he hated more than that was admitting to her that he's been crying for a good amount of time, so lying was really his only option. 

_"Louis, you need to tell me when you plan on being gone for more than an hour. I'd rather know where you are rather than find out from some cop that my son got kidnapped or hit by a car,"_ she ridiculed him, and Louis winced. 

"Where did you even get that idea, mum? I promise I'll tell you next time, but I needed to clear my head for a bit," He said, getting up from off the bench. He put the phone on speaker and turned the camera on so he could check his reflection. He looked like absolute shit. 

_"I'm just worried, darling. You haven't seemed like yourself the last few days, you've been isolating yourself more than normal, honey. Is everything okay?"_ She asked, and ouch. Louis hated that she worried for him, he didn't even think he was being that obvious. Sure, he hasn't spent as much time with her as he may have at home, but he didn't think she'd notice because it's only been three days and he's not out travelling the world. 

"Yeah, I'm okay mum, if something's wrong I'll tell you, yeah?" Louis said, continuing to lie through his teeth. He hated it so much, but he had no other option. He didn't know enough about himself here to know anything. 

_"I know, I know, but if anything's going on, I'll love you no matter what, you know that, right?"_ She asked. 

"Of course mum, I love you too. I'm on my way back home now, see you in a bit," Louis said,before hanging up. He rubbed at his face a few times to try to get rid of evidence that he's been crying, and checked his camera again. He looked better, but it was still fairly obvious that he was crying. He fanned his face with his hands in hopes that that would dry his eyes out, then decided to wait. It was a good ten minute walk after all, he figure he would be fine by the time he got back. 

He was right, after checking the camera on his phone three times on his way back, he eventually looked like he wasn't just crying for a good amount of time. 

He walked into the house and smelled his mum's homemade chicken being cooked, one of his favorite kinds of chicken. He smiled. He loved when she made meals for him. 

"I'm home," Louis announced, walking into the kitchen. He saw Lottie roll her eyes from the living room, mumbling a silent, "Finally," without looking up. 

"What do you mean, finally?" He asked. He didn't know what could've sparked such a mood in his sister, but he didn't feel like dealing with her shit. 

"You disappeared without telling anyone," Lottie said, finally looking at him. 

"Hey, I shouted to the general house that I was going out," he defended himself. Lottie just rolled her eyes again and went back to her phone. 

"Next time come find one of us, honey. You could've been seriously hurt and we wouldn't have known," his mum gently said behind him. Louis went over to hug her, ad as he pulled away, he said, "I don't see why this is a big deal, I _am_ twenty one," he said, and Jay sighed. 

"I know, but your my boy, and it's a scary world out there," she sighed, before turning back to her food. Louis sighed, walking over to the food. "Do you need any help?" He asked, deciding he would at least try to make it up to her. 

"No, go get yourself cleaned up dear, you reek of sweat," she said. Louis put a hand over his heart and gasped. 

"I think I smell _lovely_ , thank you," he said dramatically, backing away towards the stairs. Jay shoo'd him off with a laugh, and Louis ran upstairs, sniffing his armpits just to be sure. 

Once he got himself showered and situated, he decided not to go downstairs for a while. He still had a lot to figure out, and he really just felt like being alone. Unfortunately, he forgot that fate had a personal vendetta against him for some reason, because his phone chose that moment to start ringing. 

"Who the fuck wants to talk to me right now," he mumbled, pulling his phone out. Of course it was Harry. Of course. 

If Louis wasn't wanting time to himself, he would've been over the moon to talk to his boyfriend of another world; however, he didn't want to talk to _anyone_ , but he also didn't want to be a dick. Maybe talking to Harry would cheer him up. 

He hit answer and put the phone on speaker. "What's up, Styles?" He asked, sitting down in his chair and leaning back. 

_"I wanted to talk to you before our show, you're very fun to talk to,"_ Harry said from the other line, and Louis laughed. 

"Am I now? He asked, fighting a smile. 

_"Well, I was also wondering how your songwriting went,"_ Harry said softly, and Louis broke out into a grin. 

"Oh, so you _don't_ think I'm fun then, you just want me for my talent," he said with a smirk. 

_"No no no, you are very fun, I was just curious because you said earlier that you were motivated and I just wanted to know how it went, I promise that-"_

"Harry, I was joking," Louis laughed again. Harry would react the same way in the real world, he didn't know why he expected any different if he was being honest.

 _"Okay, I'm sorry, I just wasn't sure, and I'm also very nervous for the show, sorry if I'm acting weird or anything, I promise I'm not trying to be,"_ Harry rambled, and Louis leaned closer to the phone. 

"Why are you nervous? You've been doing this for years, right?" Louis asked, genuinely curious. Harry sighed. 

_"Just because I've been doing this for awhile doesn't mean I don't get nervous. I was nervous at your show too,"_ Harry said, and Louis smiled at the phone.

"Why's that?" Louis wondered aloud, and he could hear Harry's hesitation before he could answer. 

_"My first ever fan was there,"_ he said quietly, and Louis bit back a smile. 

"You know I would have liked it even if you messed up at any point, right?" Louis asked, smile finally breaking through. 

_"Well I didn't know if you would still think I'm good after three years,"_ Harry said quietly, and Louis could tell through the tone of his voice that it was a real concern of his. 

"Harry, you have one of the best voices I've heard, of _course_ I would still think you're good," Louis reassured, hoping that would somehow calm his nerves. 

_"You're just saying that,"_ Harry said with a laugh, and Louis was glad he could somewhat lift his mood. He heard someone call out 'soundcheck in five' in the background, and he knew Harry would have to go soon. Management would throw a fit if they found out Harry was late because of a boy he technically started talking to two days ago. 

"You should probably go," Louis said softly, leaning back in his chair again. 

_"Yeah..."_ Harry said, droning off. Louis felt bad, he could tell that Harry wasn't feeling a concert tonight. 

"I'll call you after? Or you call me since I won't know when you're done?" Louis asked, trying to make him feel better. 

_"Yeah, I'd like that,"_ Harry said softly. He was quiet for a minute then said, _"I should probably go. Promise we can call later?"_ He asked, and with a quick "Promise" from Louis, he was gone. 

Louis wondered if Harry felt a connection between them. He remembered Harry being slightly like this when they met in 2010, but even then it wasn't as soon as they met. Maybe it was the fates colliding, or the fact that they're together in the real world, Louis couldn't tell. All he knew was that it got his hopes up for Harry being his key to getting back to the real world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm looking at this to be 17ish chapters but i'm not sure, it might be more and it might be less lol but just so you guys know i think it's about halfway done


	10. chapter 9.

It's been two days, and Louis _still_ wasn't back with the real Harry. Despite his recent realization that Harry was his key back to the real world, any sliver of hope was rapidly deteriorating as time passed by.

His mum had started to notice something was wrong, but she'd only asked him about it once, and when she did Louis panicked so she hasn't asked again. Stan had asked what the fuck was up with his questions from the other day, and Louis was considering being upfront and honest with him. Stan would maybe freak out at first, but he would think it's kind of cool in the end. 

Harry also made sure to text or call him any time he was free, which made Louis think he felt the same connection to him that Louis felt in the real world. Whether it was asking about his day, talking about the new album, or complaining about his bandmates, Harry always found an excuse to talk to him. Louis missed talking to him before, he did, but he also needed a break every now and then, especially considering his situation. 

He ended up showing Harry the lyrics to _Right Now,_ to which Harry immediately send to his songwriting team so they could work on an instrumental. He also asked Louis if it was okay for Liam to finish it, which Louis happily agreed to. In his world, their best songs on the new album were written together. His personal favorites were _Little Black Dress_ and _Through the Dark_ , but he didn't want to give them up right away. 

Harry also offered for him to join them on tour for a week, his reasonings ranging from "Management loved the song so much, they want to see what else you have," to, "the boys want to get to know the boy I'm always talking to a bit better". Louis just knew he wanted an excuse to see Louis, and Louis couldn't blame him. He would've done the same thing if the circumstances were flipped. 

He told Harry he needed a couple days to think about it, but he knew his answer already. The only problem was telling his family that he would be joining One Direction on their tour for a week. His mum was already concerned for him as it was, and Lottie and Fizzy would probably kill him if they found out he was joining their favorite band on tour. The problem was he literally couldn't _not_ go, otherwise his only chance of going back to his world would be completely ruined. 

He wanted to get it out of the way at dinner that night, which gave him about three hours to prepare. He couldn't just say, "Lovely food mum! Oh, by the way, I'm joining Lottie and Fizzy's favorite band on tour and you can't stop me." That just wouldn't work. 

_'Harry help, how do I tell my mum I'm joining you guys?'_ Louis texted Harry after some time of consideration. Harry texted back almost immediately, **_"Tell her you got a great offer from One Direction to be on the songwriting team. It's technically not a lie"_.**

Louis thought about it, and he was right. Technically his first reason was about being a songwriter for them, and Louis had the advantage of having already written most of the next album in the real world. That could work.

He was also going insane with being stuck at home. It was nice at first, but when he didn't have a job to return to after a certain amount of time, it got old really quick. He missed his sisters, he did, but he forgot how often Daisy and Phoebe would fight, or how Lottie would always yell at Fizzy for taking her clothes and makeup. It was never silent in their house, and while being with the band wasn't much better, they were more mature... and more his age-ish. 

_'Thank you, I'll tell them tonight and pack tmrw:)'_ Louis texted, before turning his phone off and going back to his journal. He started to write down every possible thing from movies he could think of from movies that had landed the main character in a different world, but the list wasn't very helpful. So far he had:

_Scrooge, a christmas carol - too negative_

_George Bailey, it's a wonderful life - in debt, didn't know his impact_

_Dorothy, wizard of oz - escape from tornado_

They were all so depressing, and Louis didn't _think_ he was too negative, and he didn't have much of an impact on anyone to not know, and he liked to think he was aware of the little impact he did have on the world. He also certainly wasn't trying to escape from a tornado. 

Louis was stumped. He was stumped, he didn't know what else he could try before running off with Harry, and as more time passed, he was more convinced that getting Harry to kiss him or something was the passage back to the real world. It would be like the perfect Hallmark Movie ending. 

Louis started to notice another problem as well the previous day. It was getting hard for him to separate the real world to the world he's been stuck in for nearly a week, and he was afraid that if he didn't leave soon, his brain would trick him into thinking this _was_ the real world. That thought terrified him, so he was sure to write down everything that was real and was not. 

It wasn't even anything serious, really. He just forgot about the songs they recorded that didn't exist in this world, had to remind himself a couple times that he was actually world famous, and there was a _very_ brief moment where he forgot that he actually did make it passed his auditions. It was terrifying, and Louis' anxiety had started rising when he realized he could forget everything. Luckily, his mum hadn't noticed _that_ much was off, just whatever had happened the night he was out. He decided that night, though, that it was just him telling the same story over and over again that his brain started to believe it. That's it. 

"Louis, dinner will be ready in 30 minutes," his mum called from downstairs, and _how_ did the three hours pass so fast? Louis knew he tended to get lost in though a lot, but he was losing time to craft the perfect story, and that was even more stressful than forgetting what his roots were. 

Okay, maybe he was being dramatic. Still. 

"Okay!" he called back, trying to sound excited. He jumped back onto his bed and stared at the ceiling, rehearsing the conversation in his head. 

_"Hey mum, so you know how I took Lottie and Fizzy to meet One Direction, right? Well, I've been talking to Harry from One Direction, even sent him one of my songs, and he showed the rest of the team and they really liked it, so I'm going to be joining them for a bit."_

It sounded good enough, what could possibly go wrong?

\---

It didn't go as Louis planned at all. 

When he finished his rehearsed dialogue, the table was silent at first. Lottie and Fizzy seemed to be in shock, Phoebe and Daisy were happily eating, not quite understanding the situation, and his mum wasn't on board with the idea at all. 

"What do you mean you'll be joining them for a bit?" Jay asked, and Louis gulped. 

"In a couple days, I'll be leaving to join One Direction for about a week or so?" Louis said, but it came out sounding more like a question. Before Jay could protest again, he quickly continued, "They just want my help on a couple albums, and it could be great for my resume if they actually use my songs. Besides, imagine the money we could get if they put my name on the label. We could use it to help for the girl' college or uni, or-"

"Louis," his mum interrupted, and Louis quickly shut up to let her talk. "You've not been yourself these last few days, is this why?" She wondered, concern filling her voice. 

"Yeah, for the most part I guess," Louis lied, and Lottie seemed to pick up on that, because suddenly, "No it's not. You've been weird since before the concert."

Louis hissed a quiet "Lottie," before Jay spoke up again. "No, Louis, she's right. Something's bothering you, and I wish you would just tell me what," she said, her voice starting to get louder. 

"Nothing's wrong, mum, I promise," He argued. 

"Then why can't you tell me what's going on, Louis? You disappeared for five hours yesterday without telling anyone where you were! You almost always tell at least your sisters where you are," Jay argued back, borderline yelling at that point. Louis could feel the tears start to pool in his eyes, but he blinked them away. He didn't need his sisters to see him cry. 

"Can we be excused?" Phoebe asked in a small voice, directing everyone's attention to the twins. Daisy was studying her plate like it was the most interesting thing in the world, while Phoebe looked scared of what was happening. Somehow, Louis knew they were holding each others hands for comfort under the table as well. 

"Yes dears, I'm sorry for scaring you," Jay said sincerely, and everyone but Louis got up quietly. Louis knew better than to leave at that point. 

After Jay knew everyone was gone, she turned her attention back to Louis. "Now that everyone's gone, will you _please_ tell me what's wrong? You've hardly been yourself lately, Louis, and I know I'm not the only one whose noticed. You've been worrying all of us, even Stan's concerned with you," she asked softly. Louis opened his mouth to say something, but Jay continued, "I called him the other day to see if he'd seen you, and he said he hasn't seen you since you went out to play footie the other day."

"That snitch," Louis muttered under his breath. Jay ignored him and continued. 

"Louis, you don't have to tell me where you were that day, but at least promise me everything's fine, please, and don't lie this time. We're all so worried," she pleaded. Louis took a deep breath, finally letting a tear loose. He wanted to be honest with her, he _did_ , but he just couldn't. He couldn't be honest with anyone. 

"I can't," he said, feeling more tears fall down his face. "Mum, I want to, trust me, but I just can't," he said, looking down. His mum grabbed his hands and directed his face to look back up at hers. 

"You're not dealing drugs are you? Or selling your body for money? We may be tight on money, but you don't need to be doing anything illegal, you know that. I'm doing just fine at the hospital," Jay told him, a desperate look in her eyes as she spoke. Louis shook his head.

"No, it's nothing like that it's just... you wouldn't understand mum. I wish I could tell you, but you just wouldn't," he said, pulling his hands free. He stood up quickly, not letting her say anything else. 

"I'm leaving in two days, mum, and hopefully I'll have everything figured out when I get back," he said honestly. He wanted to give her a hug, because _damn_ was it hard to not be honest with her, and he felt like a right asshole. Instead, he just turned around and started to head to his room. As he got to the stairs, he heard Lottie and Fizzy run up the stairs. They must have been eavesdropping.

He slowly made his way upstairs, the guilt of lying to his mum about everything eating him up on the inside. He didn't even bother to check his phone, he felt the vibrations of Harry's texts and single call while he was talking to his mum, but he didn't have the energy to talk to him tonight. 

When he finally got to his room, it was as if another wall broke. Tears started falling harder, and they didn't stop until long after he went to bed. Nothing was going right for him anymore, and he wondered if it was even worth trying to get his normal life back at that point. 

It definitely didn't feel like it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm having a bit of trouble with the next chapter, i'm hoping to have it out sunday but it maaaay be a bit later. sorry :/


	11. chapter 10.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// brief description of a panic attack
> 
> dramatic chapter guys, good luck :)

The next day was quiet for Louis in the Tomlinson house. He only saw his mother once before she had left for work, and she didn't say anything to him. She just gave him a look that could easily be taken for pity before giving him his breakfast and leaving. It broke Louis' heart, but it was either that or her be even more scared because of his situation. He was terrified of the day he couldn't hide it anymore. Stan would maybe think it's cool, he's known this from the start. But anyone else, his mum, _Harry_ , they would never speak to him again. 

Lottie and Fizzy both tried to talk to him after Jay left, but he ignored them. He had to pack for when he joined One Direction the next day anyway, and he hasn't even remotely started. It didn't help that Harry gave him a dress code of either _"whatever you want"_ or _"nothing ;)"_ which was further proof to Louis that _yep,_ Harry was flirting with him. Louis just laughed the latter answer off, because what was he supposed to say?

So far he had plenty of clothes to get him by for a week, but he didn't know what else to pack. Obviously his writing materials, that was a given, as were toiletries, but what if he forgot something? What if there was something Harry forgot to tell him to bring? Louis hated packing for vacations for this specific reason.

He also had no bloody idea how he was getting to wherever they would be, which as of now was probably Germany. Harry said someone would pick him up from his house in the morning and drive him to the airport, but he didn't know how they would get someone into Doncaster in such a short amount of time. Harry assured him that they would work it out, but he couldn't help but worry. In the meantime, he was decidedly done with packing, so he decided to call Stan up again. 

"Hey man, you free? I'm bored and need to pass time," he said after Stan picked up. He heard some shuffling on the other side, before, "I'm actually not free right now, Tommo. Call later?"

Louis sighed. Of course Stan would have someone over when he needed to escape his house. Why wouldn't he? 

Louis decided to go back downstairs for a bit, as he could feel his room getting stuffier from him being holed up for the past few hours. He sat up, leaving his phone behind, and left to go see what was happening downstairs. When he got down there, he saw Lottie watching a new episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, another show that Louis understood the hype with. Nonetheless, he sat at the other end of the couch anyway.

The two sat in silence for about five minutes before Lottie broke it. "So now that it's just the two of us, will you _please_ tell me what's going on?" she asked, and Louis stiffened. 

"You'd think I'm crazy in the head," Louis simply said, keeping his gaze on the TV.

"It can't be that bad, whatever's going on," she argued, "at the very least, I want to help. I won't tell anyone if you don't want, and no one will hear anyway. Fizzy's upstairs on the phone, the twins are at a play date, Louis just please be honest with _someone._ "

Louis shook his head. "Lottie, I-"

"Don't say you can't, Louis. Unless you killed someone, I highly doubt that-"

"I'm not in the right world, okay? I woke up here last week but I don't belong here, I'm supposed to be on my way to a show with One Direction, the band that I was put in on _X-Factor_ , I'm supposed to be in love with Harry, but I'm not and I have no idea how to get back, okay?" Louis practically shouted. He took a deep breath and looked over at Lottie. He didn't know how to explain what she looked like, but he knew she didn't believe him one bit. 

"Fuck," he shouted, leaning back into the couch as he put his hands to his face. He couldn't look at Lottie, not with her staring at him like he just grew a third arm. He may as well have grown a third arm at that point. 

"So the insider you knew who worked for One Direction... was yourself..." she started slowly saying. Louis pulled a hand away from his face and looked at her. "And when you hesitated when Harry asked about your auditions, you didn't know you didn't pass... and when you said the band sounded off..."

Louis leaned forward. She wasn't calling him crazy. It sounded like it was too much for him to dump on her, but the wheels were turning in your head. 

"Last week you started acting all sorts of strange," she said, finally looking him in the eye. "You were acting too cautious, that was because you didn't know where you were... Louis how does one end up in another reality? Are you sure it wasn't a really intense dream?" She demanded, anger starting to overtake her face. Louis shook his head frantically. 

"I swear it's not, Lottie, I wouldn't lie about this, if it was a dream, then why don't I know anything about myself from the last three years? Why would I all of a sudden want to go to a One Direction concert?" He asked, practically pleading for her to believe him. She shook her head. 

"You could have been lucid dreaming! It could have been so real that you-"

"That I what, Lottie? Have been forced back into the closet by Simon Cowell and company? Have been forced to fake-date a girl named Eleanor just so I could be with Harry? I had so many tattoos in my world, and I can explain _every single one_ if you need, Lottie, please just believe me," he said, his voice rising as he spoke. Lottie cocked an eyebrow. 

"Go on then, explain them," she demanded frantically. Louis took a deep breath. 

"I had a screw on my ankle that I got with all the boys except Niall. I got a _The Rouge_ tattoo, one word on each leg, as a tribute to them. I have a heart covering a heartbeat on my right bicep, under a stag. Harry has a matching heart that fits into mine, and the stag goes with the restaurant we had our first date at, 17BLACK. Harry has a 17BLACK tattoo on his chest," he explained quickly. Lottie just stared at him. 

"Harry doesn't have tattoos," she said slowly, leaning forward. 

"But he does! Where I'm from, he does!" Louis explained, standing up. "He has a moth on his stomach, which goes with my _It Is What It Is_ tattoo across my chest, he has two sparrows on each peck, and they have our eyebrows in them. He's got a locket, I have a key, he's got a ship, I've got a compass, he's got a rose, I've got a dagger, he-"

_"Louis!"_ Lottie shouted over him, effectively shutting him up. Louis looked at her, but he could feel his breath speed up. She hated him, she didn't believe him, she was going to tell their mum and his mum was going to send him away to a mental hospital and _oh god he shouldn't have told her_.

"Is the real reason you're going with One Direction tomorrow because you want to figure out how to get back?" She asked less harshly. Louis stared at her blanking, unable to force anymore words out of his mouth. Instead, he just nodded simply, blinking away tears that were starting to form. 

"Please believe me," he said, cursing his voice for breaking on him. Lottie looked down, as if she was debating whether she wanted to believe him or not. Louis sat back down on the couch, bouncing his leg as quick as he could as he watched her. 

"Louis, I don't know, it's just- Louis, you understand what you're saying is _impossible_ , right?" She asked, looking up yet again. Louis shook his head and looked down. 

"That's what I thought too, but here we are, and I have no fucking idea how to get back home," he said, looking down as he blinked away more tears. 

"Does Harry know?" She asked softly, moving closer to him. Louis shook his head. 

"He can't know, he can't," he said, standing up to pace again. Lottie didn't say anything after that, and Louis was afraid that she would call his mumaway from work, and ask that he be sent to a mental hospital. He couldn't be sent away,then he'd never make it back, and that just wasn't an option. 

"Lottie, you don't have to believe me, but please, _please_ don't tell mum," he pleaded quietly after a few moments of silents. Lottie shook her head. 

"I..." she paused, then took a breath. "I think I believe you, and I won't tell mum," she reluctantly said, looking down. It felt like a two thousand pound weight was lifted off his chest when she admitted that. 

"You believe me?" He whispered hopefully. 

Lottie nodded, not looking up. "I... you're right. Why would you lie about something like that? You seem genuinely... concerned? Upset? Worried?" She paused. "I don't think you would be that worked up if you were lying, Louis. I think I believe you. It's just a lot to unpack," she finished. 

"Yeah, yeah it's a lot, I know, but thank you for believing me. Thank you _so much_ for believing in me, I didn't think..." he trailed off, assuming Lottie knew where he was going with his sentence.

"I don't know if anyone else will, Louis. You have to be careful, otherwise you could be taken away from us," Lottie warned, finally looking up. "I've seen it in TV shows and books, and from what I hear this situation is no different."

"We don't know if it's any different," Louis defended, "But I haven't told anyone else, nor do I plan to."

"Good. I don't want to lose you," she said, looking back down. Louis walked over to her and sat next to her. 

"You won't lose me, I promise," he said, pulling her into a hug. She smiled and hit him in the chest. 

"You better keep that promise or I'll kill you myself," she laughed. They both stood up, an awkward tension lying upon them as they didn't know what else to talk about. 

"I think I'm going to go finish packing," Louis said after a minute, and Lottie nodded. "Have fun," she said, before going back to the couch to continue washing her show. Louis smiled before turning around. 

He was glad Lottie took it well in the end. He definitely didn't plan on telling her, but it could've been worse if it were any of his other sisters. The twins would tell everyone they know while Fizzy would accidentally let it slip at the dinner table. Lottie was always good at keeping secrets. 

He just hoped no one else would accidentally find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lottie finding out was NOT on my initial plan for this fic but this chapter wrote itself so i just let it happen tbh
> 
> let me know what you think!


	12. chapter 11.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait! had some trouble with this chapter haha :)

It was finally the day Louis was joining One Direction. He finished packing about two hours after his talk with Lottie, which by that point it was well into the evening. He waited for his mum to get home so he could at least know that they were okay, but that thought was shattered when all she did was shoot him a look of pity as she walked through the front door. He tried to talk to her about her day, but he could tell that she felt like she was walking on glass around him. It hurt, but he couldn't tell her the truth. Lottie said he could risk being sent away if he did, which he had known from the beginning.

Dinner that night was semi-awkward with Lottie now knowing, but Jay didn't try to wring the truth out of him this time. Instead, they were all quiet, Lottie sparing looks at Louis every few minutes. He understood that it was hard to wrap her head around, but her gaze still made him slightly uncomfortable. He silently prayed that no one would think anything of it, especially after the argument the previous night, but there was a small twinge of paranoia telling him they knew.

That brings him to the present moment, double-checking his bag to make sure he had everything. He was talking to Harry as he normally would, while keeping an eye on the door for Lottie. Louis was expecting her to barge in at any moment, seeing as he escaped the dining table as quick as he could the previous night. He didn't want her to ask any more questions, but he knew it was coming at some point if he was being honest with himself. 

_"So when you get off the plane, Paul will be at the airport to pick you up. He should be holding a sign to let you know that it's him, but just in case, I'm gonna send you a picture,"_ Harry said, and half a second later a picture of Paul had come through on his phone. He didn't need the picture at all, he knew this, but he also knew that Harry _didn't_ know that. If all went according to plan, Harry would never know. 

"I got it," Louis said after a moment of silence, assuming Harry wanted to know if it came across. 

_"Good. We have a show tonight, but I was thinking afterwards, maybe we could go drinking? Or if that's not really your thing, we could just tour Germany together? We don't have a show tomorrow, so maybe"_ Harry asked, and Louis could hear the hope in his voice. Harry always loved to tour the places back home, and knowing he was the same here brought a smile to Louis' face. 

"Maybe we could go drinking later in the week?" Louis suggested, putting the phone on speaker. "I don't want to make a bad impression on the first day."

Harry laughed on the other line. _"I don't think they'll care, they really like_ Right Now _. All they really care about is getting songs done as fast as possible, and if you can help them write faster then they won't care if you get drunk on night one."_

"Shouldn't I be songwriting on the first night then?" Louis asked with a laugh, jumping back on his bed after confirming he had packed everything he needed.

 _"I guess, maybe I could help you tonight if we're not going drinking then?"_ Harry asked, and Louis could hear the hope in his voice. He loved the young love thing they had going on, it reminded him a lot of their X-factor days. He missed the days where Harry would follow him around like a lost puppy, and Louis could make him laugh with the stupidest of laughs. It wasn't like they had changed, but there was something about the mindless flirting that he missed. 

"Maybe you could," Louis said with a small smile. He heard a knock on the door before hearing it crack open. He looked over to see who it was, and made direct eye contact with not Lottie, but his mother. 

"Harry, I got to go, but I'll call you when I get picked up, okay?" Louis said, maintaining eye contact with his mum. 

_"Aw, okay. That's only forty-five minutes away, right?"_ Harry asked with a hopeful voice. Louis broke the eye contact briefly to smile back at the ceiling. 

"Yes, I'll call you in forty-five minutes, but I have to talk to my mum, so I have to go now," he said, looking back at her once the smile went away. Jay was awkwardly leaning on the door frame of his bedroom, patiently waiting for Louis to hang up.

 _"Okay, tell her I said hi?"_ Harry asked, and Louis sat up, giggling. 

"You don't even know her," Louis said as he turned his body to face Jay. 

_"What if I meet her one day? I have to get started on good first impressions early on, otherwise she might hate me"_ Harry complained. 

" _Bye_ , Harry, call you in a bit," Louis drawled out before hanging up. There was a silent tension in the air for a minute after that, before Louis broke the silence. "That was Harry, he said to tell you hi."

"Did he?" Jay asked, standing straight up as to seem more interested in the conversation. "What a kind man, he doesn't even know me. Or I him."

Louis looked down, he knew his mum knew that he was talking to One Direction, but he never told her how close he was to Harry. 

"You'll meet him one day," he said, keeping his gaze focused on the floor. He heard her walk over to where he was, before feeling a weight dip beside him. 

"He's not the reason you're not happy, is he?" She asked Louis, putting an arm around his shoulders. Louis shook his head. 

"No, _god_ no, if anything, he's making me happier," Louis said, and when she didn't say anything in reply, he continued. "I want to tell you what's going on, I do, but I'm just not ready yet."

He felt the hand on his shoulder squeeze, causing him to look back up at his mum. 

"I'm not going to make you tell me anything, Loubear. I know it seems like I'm trying to force it out of you, and I realized last night that I need to let you figure this out on your own, and I'll be there if you need me," She said, a soft undertone in her voice. "You're an adult now, and I need to treat you like one. I'm sorry for overreacting when you told me you were going off with One Direction, and I'm sorry for trying to make you tell me everything that's going on in your life. If it's really that personal, then you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to."

Louis sucked in a breath. An apology was the last thing he would've expected, although he was happy that she wasn't mad at him anymore. 

"Thank you, mum," he said, leaning into her embrace. 

"I love you, sweetie, don't forget that. I love you no matter what," she said softly. She gave him a small kiss on the head, before standing up and looking at her watch. "You have about twenty minutes before the driver will be here, do you need any help with your bags?" She asked, looking at the suitcase and the carry-on lying on Louis' bed. Louis looked back at the luggage and shook his head. 

"I should be alright, thank you though," he said, standing up. Jay nodded her head, before turning around. 

"Call me if you need anything, even when you're halfway across the continent," She said, pulling him in for one last hug before leaving the room. Louis sighed, watching as she closed the door. He wasn't expecting to have that conversation if he was being honest, but he was glad that they did. He hated fighting with his mum more than anything, especially over long periods of time. 

As he grabbed his suitcase and carry-on from his bed, he dialled Harry back real quick. 

_"That wasn't twenty minutes, did you miss me?"_ Harry asked with a laugh, and Louis giggled. 

"I can always hang up and call back when I'm in the car," He threatened. He laughed more when Harry started to quickly retract his statement, rambling _"No, no I was joking, I promise, I love- I like talking to you, don't hang up please."_

Louis caught his slip up, but he knew Harry wasn't going to say the three words he missed the most. Either way, he was more than ready to spend a week with his not-boyfriend.

At some point during the week, Louis hoped that would change. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've started another book, should i start uploading it this weekend or wait a bit?


	13. chapter 12.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey i'm back and i'm a legal adult now :):) my birthday was yesterday so in celebration, here's an update!

As soon as Louis was dropped off at the respective location (the tour bus outside of the hotel they were staying at in Germany), Harry had all but sprinted out of the hotel, excitedly shouting, "Louis!" 

Louis could only laugh and open his arms as Harry ran toward him, allowing the pop star to crash into him when he got close enough. "Hi, Harry," Louis said through breaths of laughter. Harry was leaned down so his head was on Louis' chest, and Louis could almost feel the wide smile on his face. 

A couple seconds later, the rest of the boys came out, much less excited than Harry was. They all looked pleased enough, obviously not too excited considering they barely knew Louis. 

"Welcome, mate," Niall said once they were close enough, looking at Harry with a laugh. "We're glad you're here, maybe Harry can finally shut his hole for once."

Louis barked out a loud laugh as Harry let him go, crossing his arms with a pout on his face which only made Louis laugh harder. 

"Rude," Harry mumbled, making everyone else around chuckle as well. 

"Harry, you haven't shut up about Louis since Manchester, it's gotten a bit annoying," Zayn pointed out with a smile. Louis smiled at his former? friend, a small pang going through his heart. He missed his Zayn, one of the most introverted yet funniest guys he knew. He felt as though he could genuinely call Zayn one of his best friends. 

He also noticed how quiet Liam was being, not to mention how he looked slightly impatient. Liam was always more serious back on the X-Factor, but Louis and Harry managed to break him out of his shell (or just in general). He assumed from the meeting that he was the same, but maybe it was a facade. They all had facade's to put on for the fans, it was practically required in this industry. 

"Is this true, Haz?" Louis asked with a smirk. He noticed how red Harry's face had gotten, and how he was awkwardly checking out a crack in the pavement below them. 

"How about we introduce you to your team," Harry suggested after a second of silence, making everyone, including Liam, chuckle a little bit. Maybe it was the brotherly intuition, but Louis could feel something wrong with Liam. He couldn't tell if it was just his personality in this world, or if it was something else, but he wanted to help him. Unfortunately, Liam also didn't _know_ him too well in this world, so there wasn't much Louis could do without seeming overbearingly nosy. 

Harry guided Louis inside the second tour bus while the other members went back onto the front bus. Louis knew the songwriting room and the travel-sized recording studio was, but he didn't want to say anything for reasons that seemed pretty obvious. Harry was sure to show him the booth that they would record vocals in, where the band kept their instruments, and the little section for songwriting in the back of the bus. 

"The people you will be working with are Jamie Scott, John Ryan and Julien Bunetta," Harry told him as they walked through the recording bus again. "John can be a little tough to work with, but Julien is nice. Jamie, it really depends on the day."

"How do you record while you're driving?" Louis asked out of curiosity. He knew how they did it, but he wanted to know if anything had changed in the new reality. 

"Good question," Harry said with a smile. "At random times during the night, we'll pull off at a rest station and whoever they need vocals for, they'll come to our bus and grab. If they're done and there's no rest station around, we sleep on the couch until the next one," he explained. Louis hummed in understanding, realizing it wasn't any different than when he was in the band. 

"Where will I sleep?" Louis then asked, not wanting to sleep on a couch for a week. He could maybe handle a couple days, but he definitely wouldn't be well rested enough to write more songs. 

"We have an extra bed for you, it's the bunk above mine," Harry smiled, looking down at him. Louis beamed brightly, happy that he could still be close to Harry. Sure, it wasn't the same bunk as when he was in the band, but it was still something. 

"That sounds perfect," Louis said with a smile. They walked off the bus, Louis following Harry, and walked onto the front bus. 

"This is where the boys and I hang out," Harry announced, Niall and Zayn looking up at the two new people on the bus. Liam looked deep in thought at his notebook, unaware of anything going on around him. Louis knew that he could get really focused when it came to songwriting, so he assumed that's what was going on. 

"He's not boring you, is he?" Zayn asked Louis, looking pointedly at Harry. Louis shook his head with a smile.

"Not at all," he said, looking up to catch Harry's gaze. 

"Just wait until you get him talking about baking, he will _never_ shut up about it," Niall said with a laugh. "He loves talking about baking almost as much as he loves talking about Lou-"

" _Okay,_ on with the tour," Harry interrupted, glaring at Niall. He could see Zayn bite back a laugh while Liam looked up with a small smirk, before going back to his notebook. 

"See you guys," Louis said softly as the duo walked past them. The three other band members waved back, and Harry dramatically shut the curtains on them. 

"So that was where we usually hang out, sometimes play card or board games if we have nothing better to do," Harry said, before walking down the hall. Louis noticed the bathroom right before the bunks, and knew exactly where they were. 

"This is where we sleep, I assume?" Louis asked, and Harry nodded. 

"This is my bunk," Harry said, pointing to the second bottom bunk on the left, "and above it it yours. I had Niall ask one of the band assistants to bring your stuff to it."

Louis nodded, opening the curtain to his bunk, and sure enough, his stuff was there. "I could've brought it here myself," Louis said, looking back at Harry, who simply just shrugged. "I wanted to spend more time with you," he said, and Louis could _feel_ his heart flutter at those words. 

They both stood there, looking at each other, before Harry coughed out a quick "moving on" and walking to the next room. Just like last time, he dramatically threw open the curtains, and revealed what looked like the back of the bus. There was a couch wrapped around the end of the wall underneath a long window. In front of the couch was what looked like a coffee table, and it had a computer with a cord running out of it on top. Next to the computer there were four X-Box controllers, and Louis assumed the connected X-Box was under the coffee table like it was in his world. 

"This is where we go when we all have a long drive," Harry explained, moving around the coffee table to sit on the couch. "Sometimes we play X-Box, sometimes we watch movies, and sometimes we just sit and watch the world go by. It's never boring back here."

Louis sat down next to Harry an looked out the window to the hotel they were outside of. "Do you guys go to hotels often?" He asked, even though he knew the answer. 

"Sometimes, usually when we have more than one show in a city. We have three in Germany so we're in one now, and um..." Harry paused, putting a hand behind his neck as he looked down. "I was sort of wondering if you would want to room with me?"

Louis but back a smile. As if that were even a question. 

"Of course I want to room with you, you wanker," Louis laughed, lightly slapping Harry's shoulder which looked like it made him blush. 

"Good, because I kind of already told them we were rooming together," Harry said with a mischievous, yet somehow shy smile. 

"Good, I would have had you on the phone all night anyway," Louis smiled back. The tension in the air suddenly became thick, and they could both feel it. Louis had never wanted to kiss Harry more, but he couldn't find himself to do it. Not only was this their second time actually talking in person, it also didn't feel right to kiss someone who knew nothing about the real him. 

"Let's go see what the other boys are up to now," Louis said instead, hoping to break the tension. Harry blinked a couple times before nodding in agreement. "Yeah... yeah lets do that," he said, his voice cracking. Louis could tell that Harry wanted to kiss in that moment, and he felt immensely guilty for it. But he couldn't kiss him, he just couldn't. 

Not until he knew the truth at least. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're in anyway concerned about liam, we get more of a backstory in the next chapter so don't worry too much, i have a plan :) also this story is officially going to be 18 chapters long (unless fate takes it elsewhere but i doubt that'll happen lmao)
> 
> please lmk what you think!


	14. chapter 13.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HARRY WON A MF GRAMMY YESSSSS

Louis was called in to work on a song the very same night he showed up, and while he knew that there would be a lot of work, he didn't expect it to come so soon. 

The group of people he was writing with were the ones Harry told him about, a guest writer named Toby Smith, and Liam. Liam may not have known this, but he and Louis worked best when they were together, so he was excited to see how this song would go. He just had to get Liam out of his shell first. 

"Do we have any suggestions? Any at all?" Julien asked, running a hand through his hair. They had been working for close to two hours, and they hadn't come up with a single verse yet. Louis had one song from the the real world that he was about to cave and present, but he decided against it last moment. It was a song that no one has heard yet, and he wanted _his_ Harry to be the first to hear it. He also suggested they try a rock song that could involve partying and (to keep it straight) getting to third base, but the writers felt like that was too out of their limit, leaving it up to Louis himself. 

"With all do respect, it's nearing midnight, and I'm sure we're all tired," Toby said, rubbing his eyes to prove his point.

"We're making midnight memories," Liam whispered, and Louis snapped his head over to him. 

"Write that down, Midnight Memories. I think I could make something with that," He whispered, not wanting Julien or Toby to hear quite yet. Liam nodded at him and jotted it down in his notebook. 

Something must of happened while they were whispering that convinced Julien to take the night off, because as soon as they tuned back into the rest of the writers, they were all getting up to go to the producer rooms. 

"Guess it's just us then," Louis said, leaning back in his chair. Liam nodded, muttering a quick "yeah" as he looked down at his notebook. Louis stayed quiet for a minute, trying to come up with something to say, but he couldn't think of anything. 

"Do you have any ideas for a song?" He asked after a long period of silence, and Liam shrugged. 

"There's something I wanted to write for a fan, her name's Diana, I got a letter from her expressing her feelings about how she felt no one was there for her and nothing could save her, I wanted to tell her through song that there's always hope," he said, flipping through the pages of his notebook.. Louis smiled softly at that. 

"I like that," he said softly, looking at the notebook as well. "I like the feeling of knowing someone could feel less alone because of us- because of something small I did," Louis said, catching himself before Liam could catch onto what he was saying. 

"Yeah," He just said in response, making Louis slightly frown. 

"I... I noticed you're much quieter than the others," Louis started softly, "You don't have to answer but... do you ever feel alone? Like nothing anyone could do could help you feel better?" After a moment of silence, he added, "Again, you don't have to answer, but I'm here if there's anything you need to talk about."

Liam shook his head, and after a minute, he sighed. "I guess... I've never really gotten on with the boys. Sure, we were all fine during X-Factor, but that was becuase we had to be, our main focus was winning, after all. And we almost did, we placed second. Then after X-Factor, I guess the boys didn't like that I was 'too serious', and eventually started doing things without me," he said quietly, not looking up. "Drinking, partying, even game nights, they never invited me, even if I asked to be. I guess they thought I was too much of a buzzkill. 

"Eventually, maybe a year or so later, I gave up trying, because if it didn't change in a year, then why would things change now right?" He took a deep breath. "I guess it hurts, to me they're all like colleagues, while I feel they're more like co-workers."

Louis felt his heart drop at every word that came out of his mouth. Sure, they hated eachother during X-factor, but he still never left him alone, and after they won Louis made it his personal mission to make Liam more laid back. It took sometime, but after weeks of relentless pranking, soon Liam started to laugh at them, and even helped him prank Niall and Zayn a couple times. 

"I'm sorry, I guess I can kind of understand what you mean," Louis said, not breaking eye contact with Liam. "I've had some trouble... finding myself lately, I guess," he admitted. While it wasn't necessarily true, it wasn't technically a lie either. 

"I'm sorry," Liam said, and it sounded genuine. Louis shook his head.

"It's alright, I really think Harry's helping me with that. But my point is, you're not alone," he said, looking down. "And if you would like, I'll be your friend. You don't seem boring to me."

He looked back up to Liam, and it looked like the band member was about to cry. 

"Thank you, Louis," he said, and Louis smiled. 

"C'mere," he said, motioning in for a hug, which Liam quickly went in for. They stayed in a tight hug for what felt like hours, before Liam finally let go. 

"If you want, you can come drinking with Harry and I this week," Louis offered, and Liam shook his head. 

"I don't know if they'd want me to," he said, that same sad look falling upon his face. 

"Well, I know that if I go, Harry will too, so just come anyway," Louis said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "It's time they grow up and start inviting you out with them, otherwise the band wont last much longer."

Liam nodded, mumbling a short "you're right," before getting up to go back to his room. "Um, Louis?" he said, turning back to Louis as he was opening the door.

"Yeah?" Louis asked, leaning on the table. 

"Thank you," he said with a sincere smile, before leaving the room. Louis smiled after him, and looked down at one of the papers that he brought in front of him. Bringing the pen down, he started to write. 

_"You tell me that you're sad, and lost your way, you tell me that your tears are here to stay, but I know that you're only hiding, and I just wanna see you..."_

\---

_"Louis, I know you feel like you don't get enough solo's , and there's a reason. We just don't feel your voice is strong enough yet."_

**_"Louis don't listen to them, you're important. The boys need you. The_ World _needs you."_**

_"Louis, you need to change your style, it's too flamboyant. We're trying to appeal to teenage girls, not homosexuals."_

_**"Louis, you've helped me realize who I am, that it's okay to be true to myself. Because of you, I came out to my parents.Thank you.** _

_"Louis you don't matter, when will you realize?"_

_**"Louis, you mean so much to so many people, I hope you never think you don't matter."** _

Louis' eyes flew open, unaware of his surroundings. He took three deep breaths, looked around, and saw Harry next to him, light snores coming out of him. 

_What the fuck was that dream?_ Louis thought to himself. It didn't even feel like a dream, necessarily, more like the two voices in his head arguing. One of them sounded eerily like Simon Cowell, whereas the other one sounded a lot like Harry and random fans he met. 

He couldn't think of what brought that argument up in his head. Was is something trying to reach him from his world? If it was, why did it take so long to reach him? Why was his brain doing this to him now?

Maybe he finally getting closer to going home. He hoped that was the case, otherwise he was starting to lose any other hope of getting back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS BOOK IS NOW BEING UPDATED ON WATTPAD!!! so if you prefer wattpad to ao3 then go show it some love over there :)

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this chapter seems a little slow/short, I had to get it started somehow. I promise the chapters will get better/longer :)
> 
> This isn't my first time posting on AO3, but it's been about 3 years since I last posted (if anyone can figure out what my old acc was i'll give you a cookie lmao) so please be patient if I'm doing anything wrong.
> 
> Kudos/Comments are well appreciated!
> 
> Also follow my wattpad @nicole14111 if you want to talk or just be friends!


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